


In Some Distant Place

by heretherebemonsters



Series: Eruri Week 2015 [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Birthday, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dreams and Nightmares, Eruri Week, Eruri Week 2015, Friendship, M/M, Pining, Premonitions, Reincarnation, Reunion, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Searching, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Time warp, canonverse, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4510398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heretherebemonsters/pseuds/heretherebemonsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi begins dreaming of a strange world he doesn't recognize, he begins to wonder if there is something more behind it than the simple ramblings of an unconscious mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Some Distant Place

**Author's Note:**

> Eruri Week 2015 Prompt Fill: Dreams

_It had been a fairly typical day for him, despite the fact that it was Christmas and his birthday. He hadn’t had to work because of the holiday so he had slept in. He’d whiled away the rest of the morning and afternoon in solitude, drinking his favorite black tea and reading while the snow fell outside. His phone had rung a few times with friends calling to wish him a happy birthday and merry Christmas. He’d ignored all the calls, letting them go to voicemail. Until the screen had shown Hange’s number. He knew better than to ignore her calls. She would just keep calling him until he answered. He put his book aside with a tiny sigh and swiped the acknowledge button. ___

_“What do you want, four-eyes?” he said by way of greeting. ___

_“Oh come on, Levi!” Hange’s bright voice came back to him over the line immediately. “It’s your birthday! Why so sour?” ___

_Levi sighed again. “You know why, Hange.” ___

_When Hange spoke again, her voice was somewhat muted, her tone several shades more serious. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m truly sorry you haven’t found him yet, Levi.” ___

_Levi did his best to scoff in an attempt to cover up the sudden rush of emotion that hit him. “That oaf always was a pain in my ass anyway.” ___

_Hange laughed softly. “That may be so but I know you miss him.” ___

_There was a beat of silence, soft and understanding on Hange’s end and sharp and crystalline on Levi’s. His throat constricted suddenly. He didn’t have the adequate words to explain how heavy his heart was at the prospect of yet another year passing without Erwin in his life. The thought was foremost in his mind: you have no idea, Hange. But he couldn’t quite find his voice to actually speak it aloud. ___

_Finally, Hange took pity on him and said, “Listen, you shouldn’t be alone on your birthday. Plus it’s Christmas too! A few of us are getting together for drinks over at Mike’s. You should come over too. Everyone would love to see you. You’ve been scarce lately.” ___

_Levi knew it was true. The last couple of months had been tough on him, knowing that his birthday was approaching and with it the conclusion of another year without Erwin. The passing of his birthday would mark the end of the period of his life when he should have met Erwin. Now that the day had finally arrived, time was running short. It would take nothing short of a miracle to suddenly bring Erwin into his path and Levi, ever the realist, didn’t necessarily believe in miracles. He held little hope of ever encountering Erwin after today. After all, didn’t timing count for something? Or in this case, everything? ___

_He fiddled with the corner of his book where it lay in his lap, debating for a long moment. On one hand, it would be nice to be surrounded by the friends who knew him best, Mike, Hange, Moblit, Nanaba. It could even be comforting, he supposed. On the other hand, being in their presence could only serve to remind him of the one person who was glaringly and obviously missing from their gathering. Levi wasn’t certain if he could take that, if he could put himself through that. ___

_Hange seemed to realize he was at the apex of an internal struggle. “Please?” she asked quietly a moment later when no response seemed forthcoming. She didn’t need to say what Levi could hear in her voice; that they were all worried about him and genuinely wanted to do what they could to help him past this. ___

_“Alright,” Levi muttered somewhat grudgingly. He could just picture Hange’s big brown eyes pleading with him on the other end of the line. ___

_“Great!” She sounded relieved. “Be at Mike’s by six, okay?” ___

+++

Levi jolted awake just as the first rays of dawn were painting the eastern sky outside his window in wisps of pink and orange. He lay there under his blankets for a few long moments, blinking away the bleariness from his eyes. Though he was still groggy, he knew he’d woken up suddenly from an odd dream, leaving behind a lingering sense of confusion.

Slowly, he pushed up to a sitting position, scrubbing a hand over his face and back into his hair. What the hell had that all been about? The details of the dream were fuzzy but he recalled enough to know that he’d been in a strange place he’d never seen before. He had seemingly lived alone in this place and it definitely wasn’t the officers’ barracks he currently called home. Wherever this was, it was much…fancier. Where the barracks in Trost were all rough-hewn wood and stone and typically dimly lit, this other place was open and airy and full of light, despite the fact that the sky there had been overcast and snowy.

The remembrance of the snow brought back the fact that it had been his birthday and he had spoken to Hange. He recalled with a frown the strange…device they had spoken to one another through. There was no other way to describe it. Levi was smart enough to know that whatever it was, it was used for communication and it wasn’t as if Hange had been trapped inside it somehow…or something. Of course, he had never even heard of anything remotely similar and he chocked it up to the imaginings of an overtired mind.

But the more he thought back on the images that had pervaded his sleep, he realized that the odd mode of communication hadn’t even been the most confusing bit. No, he distinctly remembered talking about Erwin, or more precisely, his absence. Levi’s thin brows drew together in a deep frown at the very thought. Where would Erwin have been? And why did it feel as though Levi had never even seen him face to face?

The idea of it was unsettling, Levi had to admit. He knew that it was more than likely possible that he would still be living in the Underground if he had never met Erwin. Either that or he would have been dead by now. His life had gone in directions he never could have foreseen or even imagined and it was all because of one man. He didn’t like to dwell on the stark reality of a life without Erwin in it, what could have been. Yet it seemed his unconscious mind had conjured just such a world for him though it was plain that wherever he was, it wasn’t the Underground.

Levi shook his head as if to clear the confusion and fogginess away. Best not to dwell on the dream; after all, it was just that, a dream, and he had a busy day ahead of him working with the newest recruits from the Eastern Division. He flipped the covers back and slid out of bed, ready to get an early start.

+++

_Snow crunched under Levi’s feet. Large flakes drifted down lazily from the gunmetal sky overhead, settling lightly atop his dark hair. The air was still, devoid of the chill breeze that normally came with this time of year. Still, the temperature was less than pleasant and the tip of Levi’s nose was numb, his ears red. His breath wafted out before him in swirling clouds of mist. Levi hunched deeper into his jacket and picked up his pace. ___

_It was nearing six o’clock and dusk was rapidly falling. The streetlamps had switched on nearly an hour ago, valiantly combating the dull winter light as it failed with the closure of another short day. Cheery Christmas lights twinkled in nearly every window Levi passed as he walked and if he glanced past them he could see families and groups of friends together at dining tables or sitting in clusters in living rooms, laughing and talking and enjoying one another’s company. Instead of filling him with seasonal cheer as it might have others, the sight only made Levi’s heart heavier. Though he was on the way to Mike’s house to meet his own friends, he had suddenly never felt more alone. ___

_Levi had no family of his own. That seemed to be a recurring theme that had carried over from one life into the next. He had been orphaned at a young age and grew up in a group home run by the state. He knew that a lackluster kid like himself with no outstanding talents to recommend him, never mind his prickly personality, wasn’t likely to be adopted by anyone and that assumption had proven correct as the years passed and he watched many of the other kids come and go. Knowing that he had no one to count on but himself, he threw himself into his studies, already thinking ahead to college and a decent career. If no one wanted him then he would just make himself needed. Useful. ___

_Levi had proven to be an excellent student with a bit of effort. He graduated ahead of schedule and left the group home on his eighteenth birthday with a single duffel of his belongings over his shoulder. Several months before, he’d applied and been accepted at the local culinary school for the next spring semester. Cooking had always been something he’d enjoyed, using it as a mindless escape from a bleak existence, so he’d figured that was as good a career path as any. ___

_It didn’t take Levi long to get settled into his new routine of living on his own, working part-time and going to school. Sleep became a precious commodity. He didn’t socialize much, too focused on his schoolwork and trying to make ends meet. At times it was tough but he always seemed to manage. ___

_Then a year into his studies, the migraines began. They cropped up suddenly and grew progressively worse. Levi’s grades began to suffer. Then the insomnia hit. His already fragmented sleep schedule fell apart even more. No amount of pills seemed to help either issue. He was at his wits’ end, running on coffee and four hours of sleep in two days when the memories came, all in a rush, all at once. Overwhelming. It only took a fraction of a second for the depths of his mind to open but to Levi it felt like years. When it was over, his migraine was blessedly, thankfully gone for the first time in days, and he remembered everything. ___

_He remembered the titans and the walls and the Underground. It was all so painfully crystal clear, as if he were seeing it right in front of him. He could smell the rancid stench of the Underground, feel the wind as it whipped past him as he arced through the air on his maneuver gear, swooping in for the kill. He wondered how he even knew what maneuver gear was; this new world inside his head was completely and utterly foreign. It was all previously unseen and yet somehow felt familiar, comfortable almost, as if he belonged there and not here, in this life. He could do things he’d never even dreamed of, like fight and kill and lead men into battle. The people around him respected him, looked up to him. They called him Captain. They all wore the same green cloaks with that insignia on the back: the Wings of Freedom, his mind whispered at him. ___

_He saw faces of people he’d never known and recognized them as friends and comrades. He knew their names. It didn’t take long for those same people to begin appearing in this life, first Mike and then Hange and Moblit, since they came as a couple. Nanaba was next. For a while there was no one else. Then Levi had been at the corner store to grab some milk and a young woman he instantly recognized as Mikasa had been behind the register. She had looked at him and her eyes had gone wide. “Heichou?” ___

_After that, Levi began to encounter more and more of his old comrades. All of them seemed to have their memories mostly intact, though some remembered more than others. Hange was the only other one who remembered everything that Levi did; Mike had died too soon, after all. Hange was the one who fully understood how lonely Levi was as the time passed and Erwin remained missing from their growing circle. ___

_Levi looked for Erwin everywhere he went, a portion of his mind always seemingly stuck on the man. Levi knew well what they had been to one another in that other life, friends, comrades, lovers. Soulmates, even. It certainly felt that way now as the weeks turned to months and then into years and the one person Levi most wanted to see remained out of reach. His memories of Erwin were clear and vivid against the backs of his eyelids when he tried to sleep at night. His mind raced with all the possibilities of why they hadn’t crossed paths yet: what if the reincarnation cycle or whatever this was had missed Erwin? What if he wasn’t going to get a second chance? Had Erwin been right all that time ago when he said he would spend eternity in hell, paying for his transgressions? Levi’s heart, his very soul, ached at the thought that he may never see Erwin again. ___

_He sighed and turned the corner toward Mike’s place. He might as well make peace with it, resign himself to a life without the man he still loved. ___

+++

It was the middle of the night this time when Levi came awake suddenly, gasping in a shaky breath. His eyes were met with nothing but a deep blackness and for a moment he felt disconcerted, as though floating. Then he felt the mattress under him and realized his arm was curled around his pillow, pulling it down under his cheek in a desperate claw-like grip. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax, loosening his fingers. He shifted under the blankets and sat up briefly to smooth his pillow out. The pillowcase felt damp under his touch and his first thought was that he had been drooling, as disgusting as that was. Then he blinked and felt the unmistakable cool track of a tear slide down his cheek.

Levi wiped at it hastily, though there was no one to see him there in the darkness. His face was startlingly wet and he scrubbed at his cheeks with his palms to erase it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried. And now here he was, waking up from a dream with tears all down his face.

The dream was as odd as the first one. Levi hadn’t given any more thought to the other one after that morning and several weeks had passed without the dream recurring. He had honestly forgotten about it, too caught up in his duties to ponder it further. But then tonight it had returned. Kind of. Levi knew somehow that it was the same setting, the same place. He knew it was still his birthday and that he was on the way to Mike’s, just as he’d discussed with Hange in the initial scene. This seemed to be simply a continuation of the first dream.

This part of the dream had come with its own oddities, not the least of which was seeing himself remembering this life, recalling things he was living right now. What the hell did that mean? These didn’t seem like simple dreams; there was too much detail and he certainly remembered this one more clearly than the first. But what else could they be?

There was a shuffling on the bed next to him and a moment later Levi heard Erwin’s voice in the darkness, thick with sleep but still sounding concerned. “Levi? Why are you awake? What’s wrong?”

Levi shook his head before realizing Erwin wouldn’t be able to see him. “Nothing,” he said then, his voice hoarse. “Just a strange dream, is all.”

“Oh.” There was a pause and then Levi felt the covers being shifted. Erwin’s fingers brushed his hip. “Come back to bed. I’ll hold you.”

Levi snorted, though it lacked any sort of venom or sarcasm. “I’m not a child, Erwin.” In truth, at that moment, nothing sounded better to him than lying in Erwin’s strong arms.

There was a soft chuckle from Erwin. “I know. I never said you were. I just want to hold you, is all.”

After a long moment, Levi settled back down with a quiet huff, rolling onto his side and scooting closer to his commander. Erwin’s arm came up as he moved and then wrapped around Levi’s shoulders as he got comfortable. Levi tangled his legs with Erwin’s and draped his own arm across the man’s waist. He sighed as he laid his head against Erwin’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat in the silence. After a moment, Levi felt Erwin’s lips against his hair, kissing the top of his head.

“Levi?”

“What?”

“What were you dreaming about?”

Levi’s heart clenched at the question. He was at a loss as to how to explain his dreams so he settled on the most basic explanation possible. “A world without you in it.”

Erwin hummed but didn’t say anything, as if thinking about it. Levi lay quietly, remembering all too well what that other life had felt like, empty and cold and so lonely. He could clearly feel the ache left behind by the lack of Erwin’s presence. His throat tightened and he felt that telltale stinging pressure behind his eyes that signaled impending tears. He had to swallow past the lump in his throat before he could speak.

“Hey, Erwin?”

“Yes, Levi?”

“Don’t ever leave me.” His fingers tightened against Erwin’s skin where they held on near his hip.

Erwin squeezed Levi’s shoulders, drawing him closer, if that were possible. “I won’t. No matter what, I’ll always be with you.”

+++

_Mike answered the door only moments after Levi knocked, almost as if he had been waiting for him to arrive. And indeed there was an unmistakable glint of anxiousness in Mike’s eyes when he took in the sight of Levi on his doorstep. Looking at Mike always made Levi think of Erwin, of blonde hair and blue eyes, though Mike’s hair was dusty blonde where Erwin’s had been golden and Mike’s eyes a darker shade than the distinctive sky blue Levi knew so well. More than that, he recalled all the time the three of them had spent together, sometimes with Hange, sometimes not, content in one another’s company as they picked away at stacks of paperwork in Erwin’s office. Levi tried to keep his expression characteristically flat and ignore the ache in his chest as he greeted his friend. ___

_“Hey, Mike.” ___

_“Levi! I’m so glad you made it.” The tall man stepped aside and ushered Levi past him and into the entryway. “We’ve all been waiting for you.” ___

_Levi could hear voices from the next room, underlaid with soft music. The only one he could pick out with any certainty was Hange, her bright, energetic tone unmistakable as her words tumbled out quickly. Despite himself, Levi felt the barest tug of a smile at his lips at hearing her enthusiasm. ___

_“Hange told me six o’clock,” Levi told Mike as he slipped his shoes off and shrugged out of his coat. ___

_“Yes, that’s completely fine,” Mike assured him, lingering nearby. “That’s not what I meant.” He paused and then continued, “I invited a few more people so it’ll be more than just our normal group. I hope you don’t mind.” ___

_Levi looked up at Mike quizzically, shrugging. “Why would I care? It’s your house, Mike.” ___

_Mike opened his mouth to say something when someone swung around the corner into the hallway, laughter bubbling after them. They were moving so fast that Levi couldn’t immediately see who it was but in the next moment, the excited squeal gave them away. Hange launched herself at Levi, flying past Mike to wrap her arms around the smaller man. She squeezed so tightly Levi could hardly breathe but he returned the embrace after a second, suddenly grateful that he at least had his closest friends back in this life. ___

_Hange shifted and one of her arms left its place around Levi. Before he could wonder what she was doing, the empty space was replaced with Mike’s solid form. “Get in here, you giant tree,” Hange said lightly and Mike responded with a deep chuckle, both of his long arms wrapping around both Levi and Hange. ___

_For a moment, none of them moved. Then Levi slid an arm around Mike’s waist, as much as he could while still holding onto Hange. Levi felt a soft kiss being dropped on the top of his head and he realized Hange was smiling down at him, her eyes soft, before she looked up at Mike. ___

_“I love you guys,” she murmured, “so much.” ___

_Neither man replied. There was no need to. The way Mike’s arms squeezed tighter said it all. Levi felt a sudden pricking behind his eyes and he buried his face in Mike’s shoulder, letting out a shaky breath. The three of them stayed like that, unmoving, for a long moment until the voices in the next room suddenly became somewhat quieter, hushed. Footsteps drew near the doorway Hange had come out of and Nanaba’s face appeared around the corner. ___

_“Everything okay out here?” The young man’s voice was soft and non-intrusive. ___

_“Yes, don’t mind us,” Hange said a bit hoarsely. “We’re just having a moment here.” ___

_Nanaba smiled and reminded gently. “There’s someone else here who’d like to share a moment with you.” ___

_“Oh!” Hange exclaimed and before Levi had time to wonder what exactly was going on, both she and Mike were moving away. Levi instantly wanted to protest; he immediately missed them both, their warmth and solidity and their obvious affection for him. That was what he needed most right now, after all, if he were being honest with himself. ___

_There was some shuffling and more voices but Levi was too lost in his own thoughts to really comprehend anything being said. All he could think about was Erwin, about how he wasn’t there and that there was nothing more that Levi wanted in the whole world than to see the other man’s face again. He just wanted Erwin, that was all there was to it. ___

_“-vi.” ___

_Belatedly, Levi realized his name was being spoken and he jolted slightly, looking up to see who had been trying to get his attention and there was- ___

_“Erwin?” ___

_Levi’s voice left him in a whisper. He was vaguely aware of his jaw hanging open and how undignified he must look but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Because the one person he’d been thinking of and searching for was…here. Right in front of him. Erwin was here. Finally. ___

_“Hello, Levi.” Erwin offered him a smile from where he stood several feet away, looking just the same as he always had. His shoulders were still broad, his eyes still the same crystal blue. His hair was as golden and shiny as ever and he still wore it the same way, just as they all seemed to. He still towered above Levi, a strong, distinct presence. He still had an air of authority about him, as if he’d been unable to fully shake off all of the nuances of his former role as commander. “Happy Birthday.” ___

_He remembered. Of course he remembered. He’d never once forgotten Levi’s birthday. Levi drew in a shaky breath. “You’re here.” ___

_Erwin nodded. “Mike and I bumped into each other just a few days ago and he invited me over tonight as a surprise to you.” His smile widened more. “I could hardly wait to see you.” ___

_Behind Erwin, Mike and Hange were exchanging small smiles but Mike looked over with an arched brow when Levi spoke a moment later. ___

_“Mike, you bastard, why didn’t you just tell me?” Levi growled though it didn’t have the menacing effect he’d hoped for when his voice cracked half-way through. His gaze bounced back to Erwin. “I thought I’d never see you again,” he said brokenly as a wave of sudden tears pricked at his eyes. ___

_Erwin’s arms opened to him just as they had so many times before. “Come here.” ___

_Levi shook his head even as his feet moved, seemingly of their own volition. “I’m fine,” he managed to croak out, though it ended in a choked sob. He slapped a hand over his mouth just as the first tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes, his thin brows drawing together. ___

_Erwin closed the space between them in two long strides and then his arms were wrapping around Levi and holding him close. Levi’s own arms immediately slid around Erwin’s waist and he clung to the taller man, burying his face in that familiar broad chest. How he’d missed this. ___

_“I tried to find you,” Levi muttered after a moment as hot, silent tears slid down his cheeks, wetting Erwin’s shirt. ___

_“So did I,” Erwin murmured, kissing the top of Levi’s head softly. “I wasn’t going to give up until I’d seen you again.” He paused and then added, “Even if you didn’t remember me.” ___

_The words made Levi’s fingers clench harder into the back of Erwin’s shirt. He snorted through his tears. “How could I not remember you?” he gasped, raising his face to look up at the man he loved. “You’re all I’ve been able to think of.” ___

_Erwin’s large hands came up to cup Levi’s face reverently, his thumbs swiping at the tears there. He smiled though Levi could now see the shimmer of unshed moisture in his eyes. “I love you, Levi.” ___

_Levi’s heart stuttered. “And I love you, Erwin. God, I love you.” ___

_Then for the first time in a lifetime, their lips met in a soft kiss. It was many things, apologies, regrets, joy, disbelief. But most of all, it was welcoming and comfortable, like a homecoming. Everything clicked into place for Levi. ___

_He was where he belonged now, surrounded by the only family he’d ever known. People that he loved and who loved him in return. Now that Erwin was there, the circle was complete. ___

_Levi was finally home. ___

+++

This time when Levi came back to himself from his dreams, it was mid-afternoon and he was stretched out on the old couch in Erwin’s office. A stack of reports rested on his stomach under his folded hands. He blinked slowly and realized that he must have fallen asleep in the middle of reviewing them, lulled by the balmy breeze and warm sunlight coming in through the open window. The soft scratching of a quill nearby told him Erwin was still hard at work at his desk, as expected. The man rarely took breaks and often worked late into the night. At this hour, whatever he was doing was merely a warm-up.

Levi shifted and sat up, setting his papers aside so he could stretch his arms above his head. His mind was still a bit foggy but it was quiet, no intrusive remnants of dreams pressing in on him. He sat quietly for a long moment, gazing out the window at the clear blue sky and thinking of Erwin’s eyes.

The quill’s scratching stopped. “Ah, Levi. You’re awake. Did you have a good nap?”

Erwin’s voice brought a gentle memory with it, of finally seeing those blue eyes and hearing that deep voice after waiting for so many years. Levi recognized the remembrance as his most recent dream…or memory. He was beginning to think they were more than mere dreams. There were far too many uncanny things in them to be only dreams. If the scenes he had seen had been from a place in some distant future, as they had to be since he plainly remembered the life he had lived here in them, they had to be something else. One couldn’t have memories of things not yet come to pass. What was that word when people saw things that hadn’t happened yet? Premonitions? Perhaps these dreams were that, then. He couldn’t think of any other way to explain it. Levi had never had dreams like these in the past. He wasn’t that creative.

“Levi?” Erwin prompted when there was no response.

Levi jolted out of his thoughts and turned to offer his commander a small smile. “What? Oh, yeah actually. I did sleep good,” he replied, suddenly remembering that he had been asked a question.

“Good.” There was a softness to Erwin’s eyes suddenly. “You certainly looked peaceful.”

Levi nodded, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Since the dreams had begun, actually. And he knew why. Seeing what he’d seen this time, knowing that Erwin had appeared in his life in that other place, put his mind at ease. No matter what happened here in this life, it was enough to know that they would be reunited in another, destined to meet. Or something like that.

Levi’s smile widened infinitesimally. They would die here but would go on living in some distant place. And though it would take time and there would be heartache along the way, it would be worth the wait.


End file.
